A blog about loss by Brian Brown and Claire Cumming from our Veterans team.

Here Brian and Claire acknowledge the impact that loss can often have on us, some of the typical reactions that we may have, and how we might seek support.

 A message from our CEO, Mark

On Monday, I had the privilege of representing Thistle Foundation at the funeral of our patron, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. It was a profound experience at which there was a tangible sense of loss and mourning. Over the last few days, I have found myself reflecting on the experience of losing someone or something that is important to us, and I wanted to take the opportunity to introduce this blog by Brian Brown, our Veterans Peer Practitioner, and Claire Cummings, one of our Health and Wellbeing Lead Practitioners. Below, Brian and Claire acknowledge the impact that loss can often have on us, some of the typical reactions that we may have, and how we might seek support. I’m sure many of us can relate to the topics discussed here.

In this period of national loss and transition, as we have witnessed the funeral of Her Majesty The Queen and the proclamation of His Majesty The King, we want to acknowledge the impact this may be having on those in our Thistle Community. 

For those serving in our Armed Forces Her Majesty was 'the boss'. She was of course also a mother and grandmother of member of The Royal Family, who had served in our Armed Services. I (Brian) am Thistle’s Veteran’s Peer Practitioner, and I wanted to share with you what the Queen meant to me as a member of the armed services community.

Upon learning of the passing of Her Majesty, I find myself with a great sadness each time I switch on the TV and see any news coverage during this time of mourning. 

I am left with nothing but fond memories when I look back on Her Majesty’s reign and the impact that she has made, not just in society but on a deep personal level with many of us veterans.

In the past, I was honoured enough to meet Her Majesty on several occasions, twice throughout my active service, and once at a Thistle Foundation event where she attended as Patron. Her Majesty was a true supporter of the Armed Forces and always went above and beyond to show her gratitude and support for those serving, those that have served and those that sacrificed their lives for this country. 

I feel that Her Majesty was deeply dedicated to inclusion and respect for all walks of life; to me, she always lived her life as a symbol for inclusion.

I will always remember the Queen and her 70+ years of service with great respect and of the impact she has left behind.

I (Claire) also want to touch on the emotion this may be stirring in any and all of us at this time. Many people have mentioned the array of emotions they have felt since hearing of Her Majesty’s passing, watching His Majesty the King make his first speech to the nation having just a day earlier been bereaved of his mother. Viewing and processing this moment in history can leave us relating this loss and transition period to losses and transitions we may have experienced or are experiencing personally; a sense of trying to find a way forward whilst acknowledging something has happened which means life will, in some way, not be the same again. 

For those who have participated in one of our lifestyle management courses, you’ll be aware of what we call the “transition curve” and navigating the aspects of shock, denial, depression, acceptance, and finding new ways to cope and move forward that can come with any life transition or indeed loss. These stages and the wide variety of emotions that come with them are a completely expected response to any loss, and we'll surely all deal with such in a different way and at a different pace. 

Whilst the nation processes the loss of a Monarch, we want to acknowledge that we are sensitive that these events may be triggering for some; knowing that many in our Thistle Community will also be navigating a journey through their own losses whether through bereavement, a change in their health or other life circumstances.

There is a range of support available for anyone experiencing loss. You can find out more about the support we offer here. Cruse Scotland also have some great resources and supports for those struggling following bereavement including advice during this national period of mourning.