Vivien's story
At Thistle, Vivien found support to cope with her grief, as well as severe health challenges
"This time last year, I was struggling to deal with the symptoms from Covid, and I spent Christmas and New Year in isolation and was confined to my bedroom, unable to even to join my family for Christmas dinner. I had found out a month earlier that my sister had cancer, which was devastating. It started off in her kidney – which was treatable – but it then transpired that it was on her spine, and things got progressively worse. Everything felt like it was spiralling downwards.
"The fatigue from the long Covid was horrendous and I was just knackered all the time. I would go to work, come home, fall asleep, have my tea and fall asleep again for the night. I had no quality of life at all. I was really struggling with my sister’s illness as well. She lived near Dumfries, and I’d been so ill that I didn’t have the energy to go down to be with her as much as I would have liked. Because of the lockdowns I hadn’t even spent that much time with her over the previous two years, which made it even harder as she didn’t want to know her prognosis. I felt like I couldn’t show how upset I was when I was with her – I wasn’t able to process how I was feeling at all. It was horrific.
"I’m a School Support Assistant, and I eventually started back at work on a phased return. But I’d go in for two hours then come home and sleep for the whole afternoon – that’s how it affected me. My work has been brilliant, so supportive, but I was still so tired all the time and felt like I wasn’t going anywhere. It was like I’d plateaued, and I just thought, ‘I don’t know where to go to get help.’
"I’m so grateful that I decided to reach out to my GP, who suggested I get in touch with Thistle. I referred myself for support and I started seeing a Wellbeing Practitioner. Speaking with her really helped me to have a more positive outlook on life. She taught me breathing exercises and I started to be able to relax and chill out. That also helped me sleep better, which meant I could start taking things in my stride more. It had all these positive knock-on effects. She got me to start keeping a diary of my activities and how I was feeling: this showed me that there were certain things which knackered me more than others, so I could manage my energy levels.
"I then started on the Lifestyle Management course which was great. There was no judgement from anyone, and it felt like we were all in the same boat and there to support each other. That was a great help. I looked forward to it every week because I knew I would get something from each session. I started to be able to put things into perspective and to not stress about things as much as I would have before. The pacing really helped me as well – without having learned that, I don’t think I’d have been able to build my hours back up at work.
"A few weeks after I finished the Lifestyle Management course, I had a catch up with my Practitioner. It was coming up to the anniversary of finding out about my sister having cancer, so I was really struggling. Being able to speak with my Practitioner was so helpful, knowing that there was someone who would listen to me and who was there to support me.
"When I think about my life before finding Thistle, it’s like night and day. I wasn’t coping with my symptoms, and I was really struggling with how my quality of life had changed. These days, I’m not back to how I was before I got Covid, but I’m able to do so much more than a year ago. I’ve realised that it’s all about pacing myself. While before I could go out and meet friends at night or on the weekend, if I do that now it’ll knacker me for two or three days after. But I realised that if I go and stay just for an hour, I can deal with it a lot better.
"I’m also beginning to enjoy life again. I was always thinking about things negatively and expecting something bad to happen. Since Thistle, my outlook is much more positive. Before, I would go to work and be really stressed, wondering if I’d be able to get through the day. Now, I don’t think like that. Now, I know I can do it – in the way I want to do it – because I’ve got the tools and skills that I learned at Thistle.
"Now, I can come home from work, make the dinner, then sit down and watch some TV or do some cross-stitch. At weekends I’m dottering around the house, doing my messages – things I want to do rather than just falling asleep on the sofa all the time.
"I’m also able to speak about my sister now without getting so upset. She passed away in January and it’s still really hard, and with anniversaries looming I do think, ‘how am I going to cope with this?’ But I know now that I can, and I know I have support around me to help me get through it.
"I’ve had such a positive experience with Thistle, and it’s helped me to improve my lifestyle, given me back a quality of life which I didn’t have at the beginning of this year at all. Everyone at Thistle has been so welcoming, so helpful. For anyone thinking about coming along, I’d tell them to do it – it’ll change your life, and you’ll never look back."