Ronnie’s story

I worked for years as a foreman in the construction industry.

I was proud of what I’d made of myself after coming from a very humble background.

But I was always worried about what we would do when I stopped working, because my family rely on me.

Over the years I developed carpal tunnel syndrome and got arthritis in my back, meaning I couldn’t stand for any length of time.

I’d be in agony. I couldn’t cut a steak when I went out for dinner with my wife, so I’d order fish and chips so as not to be embarrassed by her cutting up my food. I had to give up fishing because I couldn’t put anything on the hooks, as well as my motorbike, which I loved, because I couldn’t steer the bike properly anymore.

Eventually I was made redundant through illness.

I couldn’t come to terms with the fact I was never going to get up in the morning again and go to work. There didn’t seem to be any role for me. The only thing I had to do was sit in my chair all day and look out the window. I wouldn’t go outside. I couldn’t even open the back door. I had a lot of dark thoughts in my head. I thought, ‘is this it for me?’ I didn’t want to live like this, but I didn’t know where to turn.

We’d always been able to help our family, treat the grandkids well and give them a good Christmas.

I felt worthless knowing that all the wonderful things I used to be able to do and give them weren’t going to be financially possible anymore. That was really hard to accept. It seemed like everything was piling on top of me and I felt totally hopeless.

Eventually, my wife and daughter dragged me along to the doctor. She introduced me to Thistle, and things started changing quite quickly. I was nervous going to Thistle for the first time. I had to get my wife to come with me; I would never have come on my own.

I didn’t have any hope when I first spoke with the wellbeing practitioner.

I was a wreck, and I burst into tears because I wasn’t used to talking to people. I was always feeling down and low and really slow, and I just couldn’t see things improving. But she made me feel so at ease. I managed to go the following week on my own and I gradually got to like it.

I then started on the Lifestyle Management Course where I met other people who were in similar situations. It went for 10 weeks continuously, and I never missed a week. I started to come out of my shell a wee bit. It got to the stage where I was looking forward to going rather than dreading it. I was surprised how quickly things were changing, and how my health was improving. I began to feel a bit like my old self again.

When the course finished, I was sad. But I felt I had achieved something and I had made a lot of friends.

At the end, everybody wrote down something that they admired about everyone else. When I read what everyone had written about me, I thought, ‘Is that really the same guy they’re talking about?’ It was really nice what people had to say about me.

The experience with Thistle has made everything better. Everything.

I can relate to the grandkids better. I’m not depressed when they come in, feeling that I can’t do anything for them. I can go out to the back garden and play football with the wee fella. That sounds like a simple thing, but I couldn’t have done that before. I couldn’t even step out the door.

Now, life is more about
what I can do, not what I can’t do.

Going to Thistle encouraged me to get out in the garden and move a bit, and I started building raised beds.

It was difficult because of my hands, but I persevered. I planted flowers and vegetables in them: strawberries, sweet peas and carrots.

I’m able to do more around the house too now and be more helpful, like picking the grandkids up from school.

I’m teaching the older one how to cook, something I wouldn’t have been able to do before. I’m going to the gym most days as well. I’m doing more now in a single morning than I was doing in weeks.

If it wasn’t for Thistle and the people I met taking an interest in me, I don’t think I’d be here today.

I never, ever thought I would say that, but I saw a different side of what life can be like. I still feel a bit fragile, but I’m a lot stronger than I’ve been for a long, long time.

It’s hard to ask for help.

The thing is to accept that you need help, and then grab that help with both hands and hold onto it. It’ll pull you through. I was down – you couldn’t get any lower – and Thistle pulled me through. I didn’t want to accept help, but I knew I had to or I would have ended up taking my own life. I couldn’t have gone through life much longer the way I was.

I’m really, really grateful for where I am now

I’m proud of myself for what I have done. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience what I did: to feel hopeless and that life wasn’t worth living.

So please, if you can, help someone else like me get the help they need.

Thank you.

Please donate today to help more people like Ronnie and ensure that no one experiencing a health crisis gets left behind.

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Centre of Wellbeing, 13 Queen's Walk, Edinburgh EH16 4EA

Hours
Monday–Friday
9am–5pm

Phone
0131 661 3366